the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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