Can i not drive my cunt home
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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