This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
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I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
be right there i have to get my cape
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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