By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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