Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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