So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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