The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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