he thought i was a dude.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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