Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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