Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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