so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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