dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He did a backflip because drugs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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