I wish I only lived at night.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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