I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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