how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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