I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize