You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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