So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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