Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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