I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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