Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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