I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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