when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize