Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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