you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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