Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize