did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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