wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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