She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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