16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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