You just made me feel so damn special
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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