Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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