shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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