Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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