Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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