I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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