I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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