Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize