I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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