Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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