She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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