Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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