What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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