Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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