why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
bring money and cleavage
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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