don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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