Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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