fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize