Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize