Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
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Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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